Tuesday, June 30, 2009

ZT 给美国的媚美中国人士上一课:美国人的短处

这个帖子超有才的!!我觉得写得也忒好了点!

山西大槐树(2007-04-20)

我在美国与美国人民打成一片混做一团一块摸爬滚打翻跟头可是年头不短了,并且娶了一个美国鬼子,可谓是钻到铁扇公主的肚子里,对美国社会的亲身体验有不算小的一把了。
所 以我自认为有义务并且有责任(谁让我是中国人呢)向大家伙逐步介绍这非常宝贵的第一手的体验感想。因为有比较才能有鉴别,介绍的目的当然是取他人之长补自 己之短,并且咱们也得知道前面的车是怎么掉到沟里去的,于是咱们就别再往里掉了。同时顺便对那些无限热爱美国的媚美中国人士给予不收报酬的有关真实美国文 明精神之精华的指点(排除别有用心的以外,这些人看起来颇为迷惑糊涂)。

美国是一个比较特殊的国家,但也就是一个国家罢了,美国的月亮不比中国的圆,也不比中国的扁。美国的长处很多,确实值得我们学习;美国的短处也不少,非常值得我们借鉴。
开始的时候我对无限热爱美国的媚美中国人士们很头疼,后来经过认真观察思考分析,头不疼了。媚美人士们或是过于天真烂漫(只是一小部分),或是真的愚蠢(可笑且可怜),或是别有用心(可恶可憎)。
西方文明是遵循丛林法则的强者的文明,所以美国人最看不起最讨厌的是looser(绝对不予以同情)。Looser这个词中文翻译为失败者,但这个翻译并不确切,失掉了这个词的精华部分(我越来越发现语言这玩艺儿真是很奥妙,很多时候你不可能做完全的对译,以不同文化为背景的不同语言总是有自己的用语言解释不清说不明白的一些内在的只能凭感受才能得到的东西)。
Looser
当然是失败者的意思,但更有精神失败者的意思。满肚子愁肠哀怨;说起话来抱怨牢骚不断;一面对自己哭穷,一面对强者摇尾乞怜贴金拍马屁的都是looser。唉,这群网上无限热爱美国百般看不起自己中国文化中国人的媚美人士们,怎么就这么弄不懂西方的强者文明,楞把自己弄成这么一付土头灰脸的looser相呢?


媚 美人士们,你们以为对美国这么一通胡乱大力吹捧,把自己中国同胞一通贬低谩骂,美国人就待你为上宾了吗?作为中国人你们实在应该明白:不论你如何热爱美 国,即使你加入了美国籍,你也不是你所向往的那种高尚的美国人,最多只是一个美籍华人(在美国的华人们对此有最为深刻的体会)。


美国人是很讲究很看重一个人的dignity的。这又是一个不能完全对译的词,dignity是一个人的内在尊严,骨气正气的意思。这么多年我的体会是,美国人是从内心里敬重一个有自己dignity的人的。


而媚美的中国人士恰恰不懂这一点。我见过一些中国留学生访问学者迎合美国人的口味在美国人面前不同程度地控诉嘲笑挖苦中国社会中国文化中国人,有时竟说得眉飞色舞。我注意到美国人眼中不时流露出的轻蔑眼光,我实在为这些同胞们感到害臊脸红。
那 么,为什么媚美的中国人士们在美国还是有相当大的市场呢?这是美国政治的需要。强国论坛上的缚来宾、雪琴人以及余杰、吴鸿达等民运人士,也就是美国政治需 要的工具罢了。美国人用得着你时给你个笑脸加上一把钱;等你对他们没用时,那是没有人记得你的。那个美国的红人宝贝王若望老头儿,不就死得很是凄凉吗?别 让人家把你当枪使当猴耍,自己还打肿脸硬充城墙门上的大铆钉吧。

话又说回来,媚美人士还是要感谢中国的爱国老百姓们:只要中国强大,你们就不会失业,美国就需要你们卖力干活,需要你们里应外合唱衰演变中国。所以你们还是得从内心里希望中国别被你们唱衰,而且越来越强大才好,只有这样,你们才能有job security, 而且你们能越来越值钱。要是中国现在成了前苏联,那你们是马上就没饭吃了。瞧,原来苏联解体前的那一班鸟人不是这样吗,看看索尔仁尼琴今天的尴尬境况吧? (当然,这对于骨子里最注重私利的你们,连生活利益都得不到保证了,想必心中中还是有一些想法的吧)从这网上媚美人士的贴子来看,不少的一部分是领了命拿 了钱而来上贴的:车轱辘话来回说,没有一点新意,没有一点愿意讨论的态度。对于这种人,是不可能进行任何理性讨论的。对于他们,逗一逗,挑一挑,耍一耍, 让他们陷入更滑稽可笑的自相矛盾,看他们赌咒发誓大喊大叫乱蹦乱跳,真是很有趣,这实在是一种不可多得的娱乐活动呢。这活动非常有利于身心健康,需要大力 提倡。
请大家接着逗他们玩一玩,哈哈。

Individualism
翻译为中文是个人主义。但是这相当不确切,并且有很大的误导性。下面我就根据我感受了解的美国社会与文化试着来呈清这个不确切以及更正其误导。

我 们知道,西方文化西方的价值观强调的是个人,而中国文化和中国的价值观强调的是集体家庭和国家。个性与集体性,个人与社会,这是两个互相矛盾互相依赖缺一 不可的统一体的两个方面。为什么中西文化会有如此互相对立的差别呢?这是一个非常有意思的思考题,弄得我思考又琢磨了很多年头(倒是没有寝食不安),现将 思考的初步结果公布如下。
中华文化孕育发展于黄河流域,我们的祖先很早就在黄河流域开始了定居的农业耕作。黄河在不少年代可是一条害河 —— 洪水泛滥,面对滔滔洪水,个人的力量是太渺小微不足道了。为了生存,我们的祖先只能团结起来统一行动抗击洪水,恢复家园,修整河道。于是中华民族借助黄河母亲的威望,形成了这种先天下之忧而忧,后天下之乐而乐的集体主义的文化价值观。
欧洲的整个面积和中国差不多大,但一直是一群多为从事畜牧业的小国在那儿互相争夺打来打去(注意畜牧业与农业的不同,以及由此不同对社会文化形成的不同影响)。欧洲的民族国家的概念是在工业革命后才大致形成的。欧洲没有中华民族这种被迫放弃个人而必须集体行动以求生存的历史背景,他们有更多的空间和时间关注研究发展个人个性。

以上是说这种差别形成的历史原因。这种差别继续存在并且似乎更鲜明的重要近代现代客 观原因是人口密度的不同。谁都明白,人口密度大了个人的自由度就要相应地减小。如果地球上没有北美洲南美洲大洋洲,就没有哥伦布新大陆的发现,当然就没有 今天的美国了。试想,将现在住在北美洲南美洲澳大利亚新西兰的白人全都送回欧洲去,欧洲人的集体主义怎么也会多一些的。
当然还有重要的近几百年来的人为因素:西方的帝国主义国家在世界各地不断侵略扩张殖民,为个人各种欲望的实现提供了空间和机会。而一百多年来中国人民受尽了西方东方帝国主义的欺压掠夺侮辱迫害,中国人民被迫着用自己的血肉筑成反抗的长城,被迫着发出同一个吼声。1949年解放后帝国主义国家对中国的近三十年的全面封锁,迫使中国人民为了生存必须团结一致,艰苦奋斗,克己为集体为国家。


下面接着说individualism

索罗(Henry Thoreau)在二十世纪被誉为美国individualist的典范。索罗只活了四十四岁(1817-1861),他生活在美国资本主义正在上升发展的阶段。索罗目睹了资本主义的残酷贪婪非理性,他深深痛恨资本主义对工人对自然环境的无情剥削与破坏,以及资本主义推崇的贪婪物质享受对人性的异化。索罗离开城市,住进树林里的木屋中,在Walden湖旁,写出了包括Walden在内的几本书。这几本在索罗生前几乎卖不出去的书,在他去世后成为传世之作。索罗的individualism体现的是一种独立于权威,独立于社会主流意识,独立于有组织的宗教,特别独立于资本主义贪婪物质占有与物质享受的诱惑,真正人的理性的思考与追求。这样的独立思考者还有Thorstein Veblen (生活于十九世纪七十年代至二十世纪三十年代),Edward Abbey (生活于二十世纪二十年代至八十年代)。
从 二十世纪中后期起,随着第二次世界大战的结束,美国大赚了一笔战争之财,国内生产大发展,老百姓们的生活开始了住有自己的房,出有自己的车,吃有鱼和肉的 根本性转变。资本主义生产追求的是最大利润,因而需要的是大量狂热盲目的购买者消费者,消费是支撑资本主义社会生存与发展的根本。美国的主流社会意识,媒 体,教育,宗教,文化风俗,当然全都是心领神会,并且立即付之行动:潜移默化连续平滑地转化适应了支持着这一顺之者昌逆之者亡的资本主义社会生存的根本性 主题,并且继续发展着。当然,individualism 这个词的含义也随着有了微妙的表面不动声色的改变。
发展演化到现在,individualism这个词的被绝大多数美国人实际所认可的定义,正是中文个人主义的定义:一切从个人的既得利益出发。但是请一定注意到individualism与中文的个人主义很是不同的一点:individualism 仍然挂着独立思考独立人格的美丽诱人光环(挂羊头),而中文的个人主义则是赤裸裸的个人物质利益与个人权利的追求。
通 过认真观察美国社会(天天日常工作生活的交流,有意识的对话),我认为现在大多数美国人(学者教授们包括在内),已经没有了独立思考的能力(学者教授除了 自己的狭窄专业领域之外)。不是人们不愿意独立思考,而是人们根本不懂什么是独立思考,也就是没有了独立思考这一概念。对于社会,历史,国际事物,经济, 文化,宗教,政治,资本主义,社会主义等问题,以及这些问题的综合,很多美国人是根本不关心,一问就摇头;而能说出个一二三的则都有几乎差不多的相同答 案,这就是社会主流的意识和看法。我的
感觉是他们似乎怎么也钻不出资本主义划出的个人主义这个圈儿。就是比较激进的liberal们的很多看法也拖着一条不细的资本主义的尾(liberal翻译为自由派很是不合适,味儿不对。但是翻译成什么好呢?我不知道)。这是资本主义洗脑的结果。对了,“洗脑”,或说自愿被洗脑可是美国现代社会与文化的很是特别,相当奇怪,极为有意思,非常吸引人去琢磨思考的现象。咱们以后找机会得好好说一说这个题目。
我试图与不少教授研究生记者作家交谈过各种不同话题,其结果一般都是挺丧气(可能是我的期望太高),例外的也有,但是不多。
在美国各地,如果你静下心来认真倾听寻找,会发现有那么很少的一些美国人,不随潮流,不赶时髦,他们对很多事物有着自己的在不同方面不同程度的独立的理性的思考。他们往往被称为odd balls,即不合时宜的人。这些不合时宜的人们分散在美国社会的各个角落,他们是故意被主流媒体,社会主流意识所忽视和遗忘的人群。
无限热爱美国的媚美人士们叫得最响的词就是独立自由,而他们恰恰是没有领略早期individualism含 义中的精华 —— 真正理性的独立的思考。无限热爱美国的人士们所谓的独立只是独立于中国人民赖以生存的社会主义集体主义,而完全符合于美国主流意识与文化(要不怎么叫媚美 呢)。中国人(对入了美国籍欧洲籍的应该叫华人)大力全力向中国人民张扬美国文化美国意识美国的政治制度美国的经济制度,这倒是非常地独立于中国的具体现 实,独立于中国老百姓的福祉,独立于中国的最根本的国家利益。其目的就是最终颠覆中国和平演变中国(这也许不是很多天真媚美人士的自身最初愿望),从而美 国独霸世界。给无限热爱美国西方独立自由精神的中国人华人出一道思考题:你们有不依赖于美国西方意识文化而自己独立思考的能力吗?如果有一天上帝突然把美 国和西方国家从地球上挪走,你们怎么办?你们还能生存吗?(先不说思考)
重视个人的西方美国文化有很好的值得认真学习的方面。西方文化强调个人,于是社会舆论社会风气在很大程度上和相当的范围内就比较尊重个人的意愿和选择。这里有很多可以讨论研究,很是值得中国学习的地方。当然,怎么学,学得来学不来,是另一个相关的需要探讨研究的问题。
这 里,只说说我自己对于尊重个人选择的一些亲身感受。我是教书的,成天与学生打交道。我深深为中国的学生们抱不平:从小就被期待着一定要上大学,得成才,于 是整天被圈在教室里拴在书本上埋在作业中,没有了儿童少年青年应该有的天真活泼浪漫,没有了自己个人选择。在这点上相比,美国的学生们要生活得自在来劲的 多。美国的家长们一般很尊重孩子们的个人选择,青年们根据自己的能力爱好选择上不上大学,学什么专业,从事什么工作,住在什么地方,与什么人结婚,生不生 孩子等等。
但这一切看似属于个人自由的东西,一但集中到了有政治意味的问题上,美国的个人自由,就不得不大打折扣,戏剧化地必须依从政府及统治集团的命令,服从于所谓的美国国家利益。而这一点,是那些高喊自由民主的中国香蕉们不敢大声出来的!
Culture shock
可 以翻译为文化震荡,或是文化震惊,这两种翻译的含意不太一样。人从一个居住习惯了的地方搬到另一个生活方式生活习惯不同,语言不同,文化风俗不同的地方, 都要有一个重新认识、重新熟悉、重新习惯周围一切的过程,有一个感受比较各种程度的不同的过程。中国人很实际,并不站在那儿坐在那儿一个劲地讨论感叹如何 欣赏感受这种种的不同,而是关注于如何积极主动地适应这不同:入乡随俗,早就预料到了生活方式风俗习惯的不同,于是心理早就有所准备,遇到不同适应就是了。而西方人美国人大概是因为吃饱了没有太多事可做的缘故(不久前有网友贴出《文明其实是闲出来的》的帖子,希望大家讨论),喜欢而且需要关心这样务虚的东西,于是特别提出了这个culture shock 的概念,给了很多人不少的事干。
一般美国老百姓比如蓝领工人,饭馆旅店的服务人员,一般机构企业的办事员们忙于自己的生活,并不介意特别关心外国人感觉如何。我印象里是教育文化知识界的人们特别热心于这个culture shock。曾经不止两三次我被热心的美国人民问起:你来到美国一定为我们社会的自由而感到震惊吧?我仔细打量着美国人民,很为如此没有教养的问话竟然出自如此特等文明社会的受过高等教育的公民之口感到脸红。
望着脸不变色心不跳热切期望着我的回答的美国鬼子们,我叹里一口气,对这群井底之蛙们说:咳,看来你们还是真的不知道什么是真正的自由。周围坐了一圈儿的鬼子们顿时眼睛瞪得包子大,脸上挂起个大问号:你说什么?!
我 是见过根本没有纪律和自我约束这样基本概念的自由人群的。我在辽阔的内蒙古大草原上与蒙古族牧民们,与羊牛马骆驼狗们一起潇洒生活过七年。蒙古族牧民们豪 放淳朴大度乐观,他们的生活天人合一自由自在,根本用不着,所以就没有纪律、自我约束这样的概念,当然也就没有与之配套的独立、自由这类伟大神圣的概念。 学生们的纪律问题居然成为当年我们大队的队办小学的最大问题。
我给美国人民讲辽阔无边的内蒙古大草原,讲天苍苍野茫茫风吹草地见牛羊,讲天人合一,讲自由豪放,讲独来独往,讲毫无组织纪律性,讲想干什么就干什么,根本就不知道什么是自我约束。一群美国人民顿时自叹不如,傻了眼,卡了壳儿,没了声儿。
我 感到奇怪的是不少中国人也特别热衷于这个文化震荡,而且专门是到了美国如何感受文化震荡。这震荡的内容无非就是想着法儿赞叹美国令人眼花缭乱的丰富的消费 物品,与消费物品相适应的五花八门无奇不有的享受作乐方式,批评政府骂总统的自由,美国社会对个人、个人愿望、个人选择的重视。
这群人数不少的敏感的中国人被美国社会美国文化震荡了一通之后,相当一致地被漂白了“芯”当然皮还是黄的(漂白程度有所不同),成为热爱或是无限热爱着美国的美籍华人(当然要加入美国籍了)。这群黄皮白芯们对于美国的国家利益当然是绝对有用的特殊人才。
我 到了美国没有感到什么文化震荡:不就是换了个地方生活吗。要说震荡,内蒙古大草原那才叫震荡:完全不同的逐水草而居的游牧生活方式,住蒙古包,无自来水无 电,冬天吃喝洗涮全靠化雪,骑马赶牛车,喝茶吃炒米手抓啃羊肉,没有蔬菜没有水果,完全不同的文化风俗,再加上我们连一个词都听不懂的彻头彻尾的“外国语 言”——蒙古语。
而就是从政治上来说,国内早在多 年前已经停止了对所谓思想犯的镇压,只要是不实施反党反国家反社会主义的具体行为,不影响他人的合法权益,只要你的行业符合法律,即使是做一些与中国传统 社会道德大相径庭的事儿,没人会管你,最多骂你几句,换句话来说,中国人民的思想得到了极大的解放——极大的自由生存环境,如同骑着大马在蒙古大草原上自 由驰骋。
在美国住了两三年后,我还是真的感到了culture shock。这里的culture shock 翻译为文化震惊比较合适。下面就说说这个震惊。
刚 来美国时,我对美国社会和美国人民还是充满了敬意的:这里可是现代文明的最高境界:令中国老百姓羡慕不已的美国人民的有着丰富个人消费物品的生活水平,与 之相应的消费生活方式;发达的科学技术;普及的先进教育,百分之四十以上的成人人口拥有大学文凭;各种传媒信息极为发达,尤其是学习生活在大学这个环境 中,图书馆、计算机网络、
报纸杂志、广播电视,获得专 业信息,以及其它各种信息不用费大工夫。于是,我的理所当然的想象推论就是:美国人民,尤其是受过高等教育的美国人民一定是高素质的人口:理性,谦虚,求 知欲强,知识面宽,有着很强的独立思考能力,宽容,自我抑制力强,不庸俗,充满爱心,友好,向上乐观。
几年住下来,美国人民不断地用自己的行动向我劝说着:这想当然的推论可是相当的有问题啊。首先,美国人民一点儿也不谦虚:美国可是number 1(数第一),是上帝选择的国家,凡是美国说的就都是真理。美国人民非常热衷于那些超人(superman)的电影:美国超人拯救全世界,拯救全人类。
第 二,美国人民可没有多少求知欲,并且知识面很窄。我跟很多受过高等教育的美国人民聊天的第一个感想就是:真没劲,这些人怎么几乎什么都不知道啊,更要命的 是什么还都不想知道。中国人坐在一起常常能海阔天空天南地北地一通来劲的神聊吹牛。我记得在北京居民区小公园里提着鸟笼溜鸟的老头们聊起天来也是国内国际 历史地理一套一套的。而与美国人民聊天一般来说还是真乏味,他们中的绝大多数对与自己生活的小天地无关的事物是一点儿也不感兴趣,而且他们的理解能力的水 平楞是让你说不出一句话来。下面举例
说明。
上 上下下的美国人民对中国计划生育政策的态度就是一个很生动的例子。由政府提出并执行计划生育政策这可是百分之九十九以上的美国人民不能理解的:政府怎么能 规定一家生几个孩子呢?我说,中国国土的可居住面积比美国要小好多,但是中国的人口是美国人口的五倍多,中国不搞计划生育怎么行呢?可爱的美国人民眨眨 眼,怎么也弄不明白这个小好多与那个五倍多有什么关系,仍然不解地说:那政府也不能控制人民生孩子呀。这还不是普通的美国人民,而是大学里的教授、职工、 学生们,我耐心地苦口婆心了一遍又一遍
,详细阐述不同的国家有不同的自然环境社会环境,于是也应该有不同的管理政策。可他们还是顽固地眨眼摇头,说政府无权干预。这次论到我摇头了:这些受过受着高等教育的美国人民是怎么了?经过多次若干年的交谈经历,加上自己的刻苦思考琢磨,我明白了:
大多数美国人民无论如何钻不出自己生活的这个圈儿,用美国话说就是不会也不能站在别人的鞋里看问题。他们对世界各地发生的的任何事情都得拿到自己生活的这个圈儿里来看来理解。这可真让人大失所望。
第三,宽容别人约束自己可不是美国人民的美德。市场经济讲究的是丛林法则适者生存强者为王,谦虚是looser(失败者)的本能。
第 四,美国人民能够独立思考吗?经过二十多年的仔细观察,我的结论是:美国人民基本不会独立思考,或说,绝大多数美国人民根本不懂什么是独立思考,就是说, 你给他们独立思考的机会,他们都不知道应该干什么。这都是被洗脑的结果。一提起洗脑,人们马上想到社会主义国家,其实,洗脑是资本主义国家的一个很基本的 奇特现象,只不过这里的洗脑被耀眼的人权民主自由掩盖着。社会主义国家的洗脑比起现代文明资本主义国家的洗脑来那可绝对是小巫碰见大巫了。关于美国社会的 洗脑,因为题目太大内容太多,以后要
作专文来探讨。
接着说独立思考,举一个例子。

不少中国人听说过美国的寄邮包炸弹者(UnabomberTheodore KaczynskiKaczynski写了一篇很有名的宣言《Industrial Society And Its Future》(《工业社会和它的未来》), 这篇文章分析了资本主义工业社会由于科学技术急剧高速发展而带来的种种问题,作者警告说这些问题将会对未来的社会造成的巨大灾难,并且提出了解决的方案。 这是一篇真正有着独立思考精神的文章,尽管文章的不少分析我不同意,解决的方案我并不同意,但这是一篇非常值得一读的,具有很多启发性的文章。
但是这篇文章以及作者的命运如何呢?
Kaczynski
有着数学博士学位,有着理性思考的头脑。通过观察思考,他认为现代科学技术的发展就像被人类放出瓶子的那个魔鬼,魔鬼一旦出了瓶子,人类就无法控制,而这魔鬼最终是要控制人类,进而毁灭人类。Kaczynski 在 文章中详细地分析了科技的发展已经给人类社会造成的种种问题,将会给人类社会带来的种种问题,他郑重提醒人们应该及早认识到问题的严重性,对科学技术的发 展加以有效控制,以避免人类社会的最终毁灭。这可是不同于主流意识的真正的独立思考。一向标榜具有独立思考批判意识的美国的文化界思想界教育界主流媒体支 流媒体出版界给以重视或给予任何关注了吗?当然没有。Kaczynski找 不到任何渠道发表自己的看法,而他又认为只有使更多的人了解了他的观点,并采取了一定的行动后,才能避免人类社会的毁灭。为了使人们了解他的观点,他给若 干从事高科技的工程师技术人员寄去邮包炸弹。二十多年过去,最后,为了抓获寄邮包炸弹者,美国司法部授意纽约时报和华盛顿邮报同时发表了这篇《工业社会和 它的未来》(1995),我才有机会读到这篇文章。但是热爱独立思考的美国人民中又有多少人读了这篇文章呢?
我是反对使用邮包炸弹这样的手段的。如果kaczynski有正常的媒体渠道发表自己的意见,他是一定不会去寄邮包炸弹的。如果现在你去问问美国人民寄邮包炸弹者Kaczynski是什么人,百分之九十九的美国人民会告诉你:是个疯子。再问:他为什么要寄邮包炸弹呢?答曰:他是疯子吗。再问:他有什么观点呢?一片眨眼加摇头,然后两眼瞪着你,答曰:疯子有观点么?这就是热爱崇拜独立思考的美国人民。
第 五,美国人民更加理性了吗?没有。对一般人来说使用大脑来思考并不是一种愉快的享受。随着科学技术的高速发展,计算机各种程序软件的应用,工作中生活中计 算机软件操纵的各类自动化半自动化机器的应用,人们真的用不着多用脑子了。理性是说透过现象看本质,这是要进行一番有些艰苦的脑力劳动的。顺应着历史发展 的必然,美国人民当然是不去费力用脑思考,因而更加非理性化了,感情化了,甚至更进(退)了一步:感观化了。
我们在大学里教书很能体会到这么一个变化:学生们对数学、物理、化学这些需要基本逻辑思维的课程是越来越讨厌痛恨,越来越玩不转了。学生们抽象思维逻辑思维的能力基本没有了。下面是一个非常好的例子。
在 幼儿园时阿姨给我们出过一道智力测验题:一个农民带着一只狼、一只羊、一棵大白菜,要过一条河。河上只有一条很小的船,这小船一次只能载农民和他带的一样 东西。这样问题就来了:把狼和羊留在岸上,狼要吃掉羊;留羊和白菜,当然羊要吃白菜;而狼是不吃白菜的。问题是农民应该如何安排能使自己和三样东西都安全 过河。我把这道智力测验题说给上我的数学课的几个班的学生们。你猜怎么着?没有一个人给出答案。这倒不是最糟的,最糟最要命的是学生们的态度,一多半的学 生根本就拒绝去想一想这个农民的问题
。他们瞪着眼睛反问我:这与我们有什么关系?
年 轻人们热爱的音乐多是歌词基本听不清的吵闹的摇滚乐重金属敲击乐,而且听的时候一定要把音量放到最大,使得整个屋子都在震动。对这种音乐不是耳朵去听,而 是全身在感受。不少人在自己的汽车里装上功率相当大的音响设备,车开过时,一阵轰鸣的音响扑面而来,你能感到地面都在颤动。
美国现代的电影少了以往精彩的人物对话,细腻的性格描写,丰富的故事情节;多了展示各种先进武器、展示人体强壮肌肉的暴力打斗,让人头晕目眩的高速公路上弯曲山路上的汽车玩命乱追,加上高科技制造出的多种惊心动魄的特殊效果。电影趋向感官化了。
在美国越禁越盛毒品,更是折射出美国人民理性精神的失落。
以上这些意想不到的inconsistency(不 一致,不协调)真是把我震得一楞一楞的,惊得赶快扶住下巴。震惊之余,我开始琢磨为什么,为什么对美国人民应该具有高素质的美好期望会落空。这是不是与那 个什么异化有关啊?或者是物极必反,好事不能让你一个人全占了,这类的中国哲理智慧在捣乱呀?希望大家广开思路给以讨论。(中国日报)

Friday, June 26, 2009

烦躁

最近不知怎么了,很烦躁也很担忧。
怕找不到工作,怕这个怕那个,看到别人有什么好事也妒忌得不得了,非常烦躁。

很想念中国那些有佛家味道的地方。
可以让我静静地沉淀一下心情。

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

DC Metro

DC suffered a large pain yesterday.


At least nine people died and 70 were injured when a Washington DC metro train crashed into the rear of another at the height of the city's evening rush hour yesterday.

One of the trains had stopped and was waiting for another train ahead to move out of a station when the second train crashed into it from behind. The front end of the second train jack-knifed into the air and fell on top of the first.

The woman driver of the rear train was among those killed. Transit officials have now confirmed an earlier report which had put the death toll at nine.

The city's mayor, Adrian Fenty, told a news conference that two people were in a critical but stable condition in local hospitals.

A Washington fire department spokesman, Alan Etter, said crews had to cut some people out of what he described as a "mass casualty event". Rescue workers used steel ladders to reach the upper train carriages and help survivors climb to safety. Seats from the smashed carriages were spilled over the track.

"Obviously something went terribly wrong for two trains to be on the same track," a Metrorail spokeswoman said.

Barack Obama sent his condolences to the victims of the crash. "Michelle and I were saddened by the terrible accident in north-east Washington DC, today," the president said in a statement.

"Our thoughts and prayers go out to the families and friends affected by this tragedy." Obama thanked rescue personnel who helped to save lives.

The DC metro prides itself on its efficiency and relatively good safety record. Last night's crash was between the Takoma and Fort Totten stations, near the border between the District of Columbia and Maryland.

The crash at around 5pm (10pm BST) happened on the system's red line, the metro's busiest, which runs below ground for much of its length but is at ground level at the accident site.

The Metrorail chief, John Catoe, said the second train was one of the oldest in the metro fleet.

Officials would not say how fast the train was travelling at the time of the accident. The crash occurred in an area with a considerable distance between rail stations in which trains are allowed to travel at higher speeds, said a Metrorail spokeswoman, Candace Smith.

More than 200 firefighters from Washington, Maryland and Virginia converged on the scene. Sabrina Webber, a 45-year-old real estate agent who lives in the neighbourhood, said the first rescuers to arrive had to use the "jaws of life" to pry open a wire fence along the rail line to reach the train.

Webber raced to the scene after hearing a loud boom like a "thunder crash" and then sirens. She said there was no panic among the survivors.

Jodie Wickett, a nurse, told CNN she was seated on one train, sending text messages on her phone, when she felt the impact. She said she sent a message to someone that it felt like the train had hit a bump.

"From that point on, it happened so fast, I flew out of the seat and hit my head." Wickett said she stayed at the scene and tried to help.

"The people that were hurt, the ones that could speak, were calling back as we called out to them," she said. "Lots of people were upset and crying, but there were no screams."

There has been only one other case of deaths of passengers in the 33 years of the Metro: in January 1982 three people died in a derailment beneath central Washington DC.

生日名人

刚才无意中看到跟我同一天生日的名人,竟然有我最喜欢的两位天才。

一位是中国最天才的历史学陈寅恪,曾任中大的教授。在中大的时候,每每走过陈寅恪故居,我心里总是忍不住默默肃然起敬,仿佛瞻仰遗人遗迹就真的沾上故去的书卷味。在我心情不好的时候,看着小楼前为晚年失明的陈寅恪修的小白路,想起前人这样认真地生活,做学问,仿佛真有平静心灵的作用。




另一位是奥地利的天才作家卡夫卡。无论是《变形记》、《城堡》还是《审判》,卡夫卡的作品常常带着一些让人绝望的味道。但是他的天才之处就在此,他什么也没说,他既不写他伤心也不写他快乐,他就是写一个故事,却能触动人心底的某条弦。在你第一眼看到他的相片的时候,就知道他是个精灵。





中国数字地震台网

今天帮老师找资料的时候,发现一件很有才的事情。
原来中国的风水还可以和西方科学结合得那么紧密。

中国地震台网中心标识说明

中国地震台网中心标识(见页面左上角)的图形部分是以中国四千年传承的《周易》中“文王八卦”为基础,取其“震”卦之形演变而来。卦形空白处恰为“土” 字,引其意为“地震”来表达行业特征。在文王八卦方位图中,震卦位于东方,而中国传统文化里,东方是苍龙之位,因之隐喻为“中国”。图形为一方红色印章, 以示权威,以阴文篆刻震卦,色彩鲜明,配以中国地震台网中心的蓝色英文缩写,象征安全、科技。

Monday, June 22, 2009

雪吻

昨天Camping回来,全身累得快散架了,经过韩亚龙,刘花要下去买菜,我已经没心情了。随便逛,竟然发现了明治的雪吻巧克力。
Hmm...突然想起那些有点装B,又做作的青春时光。
拿着一盒想要买,只是随手又放下了。
那些过去的事情还是让它过去的好,再说,巧克力,吃了会胖。


Wednesday, June 17, 2009

ZT 世界人民在聊天

彦彦同学根据我教卧谈结果整理的谈话记录,非常有才,转载如下。
更正:穆斯林是肤色较黑的印度人。Hindu才是分等级的,等级较高的才是白人即高加索人。日本男人高帅我没说过~~
加Comment:俄罗斯人没接触过,意大利再加一点,很浪漫极度浪漫非常浪漫;日本人再加两点,1. 爱控制,非常爱控制,非常organized。2. 对比起其他亚洲国家,日本人比较国际化,喜欢和不同国家的人混。


各国人聊天时的有什么不同表现呢?

美国人——总体比较热情,但也有城乡差别。越城市越冷,
越农村越热情。越东部越冷,越西部越热情。举个例子,一个加州农村的孩子的典型形象是:晒得红红的脸颊。眼睛周围除外,因为经常戴墨镜。说话大嗓门,话痨。

-中午吃了啥啊?
-阿,我吃了三文治,用了xx面包,xx酱。
我本来还要加两块生菜,可后来放弃了,因为我觉得生菜这么夹不好吃/不卫生/不喜欢。我还想夹火腿来者,可也没加,因为我突然觉得我要成为素食者/火腿过期了(省缺。。。)。我明天可能还会这么吃。晚上呢,我准备去跟朋友吃a餐厅,我朋友是做xxx的,他xxxxxxx。a餐厅最有名的菜是xxx,我不喜欢b餐厅,因为xxxxxx......

城市人好点:
-中午吃了啥?
-吃了xxx三文治。味道不错,你应该尝尝,在xxx买的。

另外我一直说美国人冷冷的,x同学说他们很热情。
我们以前不明白为啥我们会得出两个完全相反的结论。后来发现——学我这个专业的都是很本土的美国人,他们一点也没想过要离开美国,毕业了就想进美国地方政府(联邦政府都要考虑一下。。。。)。也不喜欢跟外国人玩,因为这样还要迁就,他们就愿意跟自己最舒服的美国人玩(其实跟我在国内差不多。。。我在国内也不会想跟外国人玩)。x的专业的都是有国际背景的美国人,比较知道怎么跟外国人打交道,想全世界看一看,所以愿意和外国人交流。

欧洲人——阿~~~跟欧洲人聊天绝对不是一个愉快的经验。
他们说话冷,反应慢,而且经常深深地看着你,看得你心里发毛。还是那个“吃了没”得例子:

--中午吃了啥?
-面包 (你期待他多说? 别想了,他们的回答就是那么精简,精简到你觉得他/
她是不是故意不想理你。回答完,他们头稍低,透过眉毛,深深地看着你)
-(两分钟过去了,你受不了了)什么面包,怎么样啊?
-好吃。(继续深深地看着你)
-(场面太冷了,你只好继续努力)你最喜欢吃啥?
-没什么特别的(还是深深地看着你)
-。。。。。。。
-。。。。。。

欧洲内部也有不同。法国男人细心,对女生很好。英国人喜欢嘲讽,
觉得这样显得自己很witty(很有智慧,很有见地)。德国人很严肃很严肃很爱纪律和秩序,如果事情不再他们控制之内就抓狂。俄国人很高傲,小心眼(怪不得当年撤专家阿。。。。)意大利人超级开心,没心肝(同理还有南美人民)。

日本人——我没咋接触过。据x的说法,男生很严肃,不会笑,
高帅。女生人好的你不敢相信,见人就笑,特别特别显小。都非常非常礼貌。一句话——好压抑的民族。

韩国人——女生很会打扮,很抱团。我不喜欢韩国人,说话会偏激,
不评论。

印度人——我听不懂他们的英文。。。不是故意不接触的。
我发现有些印度人明明就是个白人的长相。x同学跟印度室友住过,她的解释是印度有两个人种,其中一个完全是白人,信伊斯兰教。另一个是印度教,就是一般我们见到的印度人。

印度教的很开心,总穿传统服装,不太跟非印度人交往,
看起来脏脏的,喜欢印度歌舞。。。
伊斯兰教的很严肃安静不咋说话,女生戴头巾,
较抗拒和非伊斯兰教徒交往。好像这是伊斯兰教徒的通病——封闭。

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

央视《新闻联播》将“变脸”

中国人民大学新闻学院副院长喻国明教授近日在接受采访时透露,中央电视台在这个月或稍后一点会对包括《新闻 联播》在内的很多新闻节目做出大的调整。据人民网的报道,谈到内容的调整,喻国明说,《新闻联播》以往那种大量报道领导人活动的情况将会有大的改变,或“ 将减少到很低的程度”。在回答记者“这是央视自己的决定,还是广电总局的要求?”的提问时,喻国明表示:“(这是)来自更高领导的要求,希望通过此举尽可 能多地掌握舆论的影响力”。

对此,有评论写道,长期以来,我们一直把《新闻联播》当作权威的化身,甚至是当作一种政治仪式的表达,而外国人 则像解读密码一样来分析《新闻联播》中的每一句话,以便从中获取信息,这些都给了它以至高无上的权力和优势。《南方都市报》上作者朱四倍的文章接着说, 《新闻联播》的变革应该突出个性化色彩,主播不必沿袭以往那种字正腔圆的播音方式,可以有自己的特色,而不要总是充当某种“登记照片”式的播报机器。文章 又说,《新闻联播》的这次“变脸”也透露了一个重要的信息,那就是:公开而不是垄断信息,尊重而不是“施舍”公民权利,以新闻为本,消除神秘化的政治主 义,才是《新闻联播》未来应该努力的方向。

不过,对于央视的这次改版,网络舆论并不看好。总结以往的《新闻联播》节目,网友“一介过客“点 评说:“前面十分钟,国家领导人都很忙,不是出国就是下乡;中间十分钟,全国人民都很幸福,不是致富就是丰收;最后十分钟,其他国家都很惨,不是爆炸就是 造反。观后感就是一句话:生活在中国真幸福!”

另外网友“老土66”则感慨道:“新闻联播不播新闻,是中国的一大创举。所以,无论怎么改,都是换汤不换药,反正我是早已经不看了。”

Monday, June 15, 2009

各国人的差别

1. 美国人:热情,粗心,大大咧咧,吵
2. 日本人:用功,野心勃勃,有礼貌得有点过分了。日本女人太爱笑,对人好得有点假;日本男人太不会笑。
3. 韩国人:保守极端保守,抱团,爱玩
4. 欧洲人:有礼貌,眼神深情得有时让人发毛

回国猜想

1. 应该是要被隔离的。

2. 上车是不能带液体的,有很大可能是汽油。

3. 出门是要带锤子的。

4. 身上要别着我不是间谍的牌子。

5.不要在路上乱走,在人行道上也不要乱走,都给我呆在家里。

6. 看到有人在桥上俯卧撑千万别过去。

7. 没事不要躲猫猫,会撞死的。

8. 暂时想到这么多

Friday, June 12, 2009

新时代的租界

话说近百年前,上海有个公园,公园门前有个警察,警察带着一条狗,狗的头上有个牌子,牌子上写着:“华人与狗不得入内”。

再话说时下,中国有不成文规定,外国公司在中国不必遵守中国的劳动法规。

我激动鸟,这不就是新时代的租界?
复古风气真的好流行噢!

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

点评09年高考作文题目

本来这个题目如果是装B的话应该是“中山大学(当然北大更好,无奈怀里没揣着北大的毕业证)中文系高材生(只要所有科目都Pass就是高材生)点评09年高考作文题目”

北京--我有一双隐形的翅膀:

让我说什么呢……我知道出题的人很In,我知道你们知道张韶涵。但也不是这么整的啊,搞得我看一次笑一次,还当是看了卫生护垫的广告呢。

天津--我说九零后

不功不过。

重庆-- 我与故事:

还好。

江苏-- 品味时尚:

还品味时尚呢……你当是给《女友》写专栏啊。

广东-- 谈谈你对常识的认识:

常识的认识?常识这样东西,认识就认识了,不认识就不认识了,对“常识”还有什么认识?难道要写“啊,吃完螃蟹不能吃柿子啊,你是多么伟大”?

山东--见证、湖北-- 站在____门口、宁夏--善良为题写一篇作文、江西--兽首拍卖,要求写一篇议论文、辽宁--沈阳全民读书月、福建-- 这也是一种、四川-- 熟悉、安徽-- 生活给我智慧、海南-- 诚实善良:

都是传统的作文题目,也算不功不过了。

湖南-- 踮起脚尖:

“天再高那又怎样,踮起脚尖,就更靠近阳光”。我希望出题的人多看看书,而不是去唱K。就算你唱K就算了,怎么可以把私生活带到工作上,让全国人民都知道你去唱K了?

陕西-- 小动物学游泳而引发的评论:

谁可以告诉我这是关于什么的?动物的权利?(可能与上下文有关,保留意见)

上海——板桥体书法:

唉……出题的人也是“难得糊涂”啊(或者一直都很糊涂?)。这题目,我也不知道怎么写了,是不是应该写其实板桥体书法什么都不是,就像野兽派艺术一样?

Monday, June 8, 2009

卧谈到3点

昨晚Yanyan回来之后我俩喝了参汤吃了Chicken Tarikaki,再喝了两大马克杯的浓茶之后,就开始像打了鸡血一样兴奋。

从坐在沙发上开始聊,聊到坐在桌子前面,再聊到上床,上了床关了灯以后还没有睡意,继续聊,聊到3点。

我们在这个夏天稍热的晚上交换了很多八卦之后,终于意识到Yanyan明天要上班不能再聊了,然后才想到睡觉,我在床上和被子大战了30个回合之后才慢慢睡着。

Saturday, June 6, 2009

即使山寨也可以辉煌

“山寨”和“草泥马”一样是中国两个最热门的现象,后者代表了中国民主的进程,而前者则是中国人体现起自信和创造力的起飞点。
QQ可算是山寨的鼻祖之一了,当年盗版ICQ的创意的腾讯公司年利润早已经超过它的鼻祖ICQ。看校内,看土豆,因为中国庞大的市场,虽然在设计上不如facebook,youtube那样科学合理,但是使用者仍然甚众。
中国就像小孩子,小孩子都是从模仿开始的,然后熟练,而后开始有创意。

Thursday, June 4, 2009

一天参加俩会议

今天去卡耐基国际研究中心(Carnegie Endowment for International Peace)和国会听关于六四的演讲

卡耐基的偏学术一些,国会的则是针对大众的。

我认为国会的活动有失偏颇,国会的四个演讲者中,一个是六四的亲历者,另一个是中国现当代文学的教授。但是他们聊的议题是偏离六四的,谈到中国的民主进程,西藏问题,台湾问题,中美的武器冲突,这些不是学者的人对这些问题带着明显的主观偏颇。

限于我的听力,卡耐基演讲我得到的知识很有限。

但其中有个人问了很愚蠢的问题,中国的rule of law在20年来一点进步都没有。还有主持人提问的时候,说了一句很愚蠢的话:“我觉得中国这20年民主进程一点都没有进步。”虽然他是一个新闻记者,这样的话也许可以引起被访问者的讨论,但是这样的绝对定论,在这一个学术场合,似乎不够恰当。

另外在国会开会的时候,我看见一个坐着轮椅进来的人,带着一张愁苦的脸。

看到这张脸我第一个反应是,王丹?不像。

回来google一下,发现是方政,六四时被坦克压断了腿的人。

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Behind the Scenes: Tank Man of Tiananmen

June 3, 2009, 12:01 am

Behind the Scenes: Tank Man of Tiananmen

Updated | 10:30 a.m., Wednesday, June 3. Many readers of “Tank Man of Tiananmen” have mentioned a video of the same incident. Arthur Edelstein provided a link to the footage on YouTube.

Few images are more recognizable or more evocative. Known simply as “tank man,” it is one of the most famous photographs in recent history.

Twenty years ago, on June 5, 1989, following weeks of huge protests in Beijing and a crackdown that resulted in the deaths of hundreds, a lone man stepped in front of a column of tanks rumbling past Tiananmen Square. The moment instantly became a symbol of the protests as well as a symbol against oppression worldwide — ananonymous act of defiance seared into our collective consciousnesses.

“It all started with a man in a white shirt who walked into the street and raised his right hand no higher than a New Yorker hailing a taxi,” James Barron wrote the following day in The New York Times. The picture appeared on the front page of this newspaper as well as in countless other publications around the world.

To this day, the identity and fate of the man in the picture remain unclear. A riveting documentary, “The Tank Man,” by PBS Frontline in 2006 explored his fate. Yet still no one knows for certain who he is or what exactly happened to him. The image is largely blocked on the Internet in China. Despite its iconic status and historical significance elsewhere, most young people there do not recognize the photograph.

There was not just one “tank man” photo. Four photographers captured the encounter that day from the Beijing Hotel, overlooking Changan Avenue (the Avenue of Eternal Peace), their lives forever linked by a single moment in time. They shared their recollections with The Times through e-mail.


Charlie Cole

Charlie Cole was in Beijing on June 5, 1989 for Newsweek magazine. His version of the moment is tight — three stacked tanks, painted lines in the road emphasizing the direction of the tanks, all paths leading towards one man. The details are clear and striking: the red star on the tank and the bags held by the man, making it seem like his protest was an afterthought on the way home from work or from the market. Simple, striking, and powerful.

As the sun rose on the morning of the fourth, the automatic weapons fire that had punctuated the night tapered off. Vehicles were smoldering along the main avenues.

Information from around the city was difficult to come by, as movement was pretty much shut down by the PLA (People’s Liberation Army), who had thousands of troops stationed throughout the city and checkpoints at all the main intersections. Stuart Franklin and I had been shooting much of this time together. We had photographed a number of wounded at the hospitals and tried to get as close to citizen-and-army encounters as possible without being detected or arrested.

On the morning of the fifth, we were back on the vantage point of the Beijing Hotel balcony, trying to get a look into what was happening within the square itself. We had not been on the balcony very long when a line of at least 20 Armored Personnel Carriers left the square coming down Changan Avenue. At this point, they opened up on the crowd. I couldn’t tell if they were firing above the crowd or into them, but needless to say, it cleared the streets of the thousand or so persons there. The APC’s continued on down the avenue, followed not long after by the line of tanks.

As the tanks neared the Beijing Hotel, the lone young man walked toward the middle of the avenue waving his jacket and shopping bag to stop the tanks. I kept shooting in anticipation of what I felt was his certain doom. But to my amazement, the lead tank stopped, then tried to move around him. But the young man cut it off again. Finally, the PSB (Public Security Bureau) grabbed him and ran away with him. Stuart and I looked at each other somewhat in disbelief at what we had just seen and photographed.

I think his action captured peoples’ hearts everywhere, and when the moment came, his character defined the moment, rather than the moment defining him. He made the image. I was just one of the photographers. And I felt honored to be there.

After taking the picture of the showdown, I became concerned about the PSB’s surveillance of our activities on the balcony. I was down to three rolls of film, with two cameras. One roll held the tank encounter, while the other had other good pictures of crowd and PLA confrontations and of wounded civilians at a hospital.

I replaced the final unexposed roll into the one of the cameras, replacing the tank roll, and reluctantly left the other roll of the wounded in the other camera. I felt that if the PSB searched the room or caught me, they would look even harder if there was no film in the cameras.

I then placed the tank roll in a plastic film can and wrapped it in a plastic bag and attached it to the flush chain in the tank of the toilet. I hid my cameras as best I could in the room. Within an hour, the PSB forced their way in and started searching the room. After about five minutes, they discovered the cameras and ripped the film out of each, seemingly satisfied that they had neutralized the coverage. They then forced me to sign a confession that I had been photographing during martial law and confiscated my passport.

Sometime later, I was able to return to the room and retrieve the film, which I took over to the A.P. office and developed. Afterwards, David Berkwitz, who had been sent to Beijing as the Newsweek photo tech-photographer, transmitted the picture to Newsweek in time for our deadline.

In my opinion, it is regretful that this image alone has become the iconic “mother” of the Tiananmen tragedy. This tends to overshadow all the other tremendous work that other photographers did up to and during the crackdown. Some journalists were killed during this coverage and almost all risked being shot at one time or another. Jacques Langevin, Peter and David Turnley, Peter Charlesworth, Robin Moyer, David Berkwitz, Rei Ohara, Alon Reininger, Ken Jarecke and a host of others contributed to the fuller historical record of what occurred during this tragedy and we should not be lured into a simplistic, one-shot view of this amazingly complex event.


Stuart Franklin

Stuart Franklin’s photograph feels like a painting. Mr. Franklin, a Magnum photographer on assignment to Time magazine, was shooting from the rooftop with Mr. Cole. He gives us the entire scene. The lone figure’s small space in the frame emphasizes what he’s up against — a burned bus looms in the background, broken remains of the previous night’s violent clashes. Shadows dominate the left side, like storm clouds.

I woke up in the Beijing Hotel to find Changan Avenue occupied by a line of students facing a line of soldiers and a column of tanks. I was hunched down on a balcony on the fifth floor (I think). Three others were also on the balcony: Charlie Cole, a reporter for Actuel in France and one from Vanity Fair. I tried to photograph the whole series of events, but like any photographer working in film, I was always fearful of running out on frame 36!

At some point, shots were fired and the tanks carried on down the road toward us, leaving Tiananmen Square behind, until blocked by a lone protester. I photographed the protester. He carried two shopping bags and remonstrated with the driver of the tank in an act of defiance. He then disappeared into the crowd after being led away from the tank by two bystanders.

The remainder of the day was spent trying to gain access to hospitals to determine how many had died or were wounded. In the two hospitals I could get access to, I found young Chinese — probably students — being treated on the floor of hospital corridors. It was mysterious that there were no dead. I understood later that the majority of the fatalities were taken to children’s hospitals in the city to avoid media attention. Chinese officials worked very hard obscure evidence of the massacre.

The film was smuggled out in a packet of tea by a French student and delivered to the Magnum office in Paris.


Jeff Widener

Jeff Widener framed his picture a little tighter, similar to Mr. Cole’s, but with an additional tank in the frame and a street light protruding mysteriously from the bottom. Mr. Widener’s version, shot for The Associated Press, was probably the most circulated of the four. It was made from a lower floor of the hotel, closest to the ground, and captured a face-to-face meeting between the lone man and the driver of the first tank.

Sometime in the morning of June 5, 1989, I stumbled out of the Jianguo Hotel in Beijing and navigated my way past burned out buses and smashed bicycles to The Associated Press office. I was sick as a dog with the flu and suffering from a severe concussion. A stray rock had struck my face while photographing a burning armored car during the Tiananmen uprising. The Nikon F3 Titanium camera had had absorbed the shock and thus saved my life.

As I entered the A.P. office, which was located at the diplomatic compound, I read a message from A.P. headquarters in New York. “We don’t want anyone to take any unnecessary risk but if someone could please photograph Tiananmen Square, we would appreciate it.” Boy, that was not what I wanted to read following the terror I witnessed the night before.

I was really scared and very spaced out from the injury and I had to find the courage to make that long bicycle ride to the Beijing Hotel, which had the best vantage point. In the end, I managed to smuggle my camera gear into the Beijing Hotel and past security police, thanks to a young college kid named Kirk or Kurt. Two decades later, I still have not been able to locate him and express my gratitude. For without his help, the world would have lost a memorable image.

As I shot pictures out the sixth floor of the Beijing Hotel balcony, I was going through film pretty fast. Tanks crashed through burned out buses. Dead and wounded were peddled on little carts. I asked Kurt/Kirk to help find me some more film. He returned an hour later with one roll of Fuji 100 ASA color negative film. Only one tourist could be found in the deserted lobby. I normally shoot 800 ASA. This would be a critical factor later on.

I loaded the single roll of film in a Nikon FE2 camera body. It was small and had an auto-exposure meter. As I tried to sleep off the massive headache that pounded my head, I could hear the familiar sound of tanks in the distance. I jumped up. Kurt/Kirk followed me to the window. In the distance was a huge column of tanks. It was a very impressive sight. Being the perfectionist that I am, I waited for the exact moment for the shot.

Suddenly, some guy in a white shirt runs out in front and I said to Kurt/Kirk, “Damn it — that guy’s going to screw up my composition.” Kurt/Kirk shouted, “They are going to kill him!” I focused my Nikon 400mm 5.6 ED IF lens and waited for the instant he would be shot. But he was not.

The image was way too far away. I looked back at the bed and could see my TC-301 teleconverter. That little lens adapter could double my picture. With it, I could have a stronger image but then I might lose it all together if he was gone when I returned.

I dashed for the bed, ran back to the balcony and slapped the doubler on. I focused carefully and shot one … two … three frames until I noticed with a sinking feeling that my shutter speed was at a very low 30th-60th of a second. Any camera buff knows that a shutter speed that slow is impossible hand-held with an 800mm focal length. I was leaning out over a balcony and peeking around a corner. I faced the reality that the moment was lost.

I had earlier accomplished my mission of photographing the occupied Tiananmen Square so I gave all my rolls of film to Kurt/Kirk who smuggled it back to the A.P. office in his underwear. The long-haired college kid was wearing a dirty Rambo T-shirt, shorts and sandals. Security would never suspect him of being a journalist.

Five hours later, without any film and exhausted, I called the A.P. bureau in Beijing. The photo editor, Mark Avery, asked, “Jeff, what shutter speed were you shooting?” My heart sank. Mark said: “It was O.K. We used it, but it wasn’t very sharp.”

The next day I arrived at the office, where Liu Heung Shing jokingly said that I had “very bad messages from New York.”

On the clipboard were message after message of congratulations from all over the world: “Congratulations. Widener’s tank man fronting all UK newspapers half page.” “Tank man fronting all European papers.” “Wish I was there, Horst Faas, London.” “French newspaper Liberation wants exclusive interview with Jeff Widener.” “Tank man fronting USA Today and International Herald Tribune.” “Please contact Life magazine for tank man image.”

The response was overwhelming.

My unexpected 20th anniversary return to Beijing was filled with emotions. On one particular day, I recall walking down a very tranquil tree-lined boulevard by the American embassy. As I strolled through Beijing’s Ritan Park and sniffed that pleasant wood burning smell of Asia, I found it hard to imagine such hell took place on those streets two decades earlier.


Arthur Tsang Hin Wah

Arthur Tsang Hin Wah of Reuters was beaten two nights earlier by students who mistook him for a spy. His photograph of the tank man, divided into thirds by two light poles, was taken seconds before the others, as the tanks jostled for position behind the lone man. The burned bus looms heavy in Mr. Tsang’s version.

Gun shots can be heard coming in from east and west. I felt unsafe going back to the square where the students stayed, so I went up to the 11th floor of the Beijing Hotel, where some of my press friends stayed.

The square was clear but by now there were more than 100 tanks assembled. We watched people protesting near the hotel. Troops opened fire and killed many of them. We took pictures from the balcony while, across the street, police watched everything we did. Sometimes bullets hit the hotel rooms when the troops drove past and fired into the sky to scare off people.

Rumors went around that they were going to clear the hotel. Many press people, especially the Chinese, packed up and left. At around noon. we heard the roar of tanks. More than 20 of them, in a big column, pulled out from the square and came our way. I loaded my Nikon F3HP with film and started shooting with a 300mm telephoto lens.

Suddenly one of my friends shouted, “This guy is crazy!” I saw from the viewfinder a man carrying two plastic shopping bags walk out onto the empty Changan Avenue from the sidewalk, blocking the tanks. The first tank pulled over a little but the man moved in the same direction, preventing it from advancing. I put on a 2x teleconverter and took a couple of tighter shots. Then the man climbed up the first tank and tried to talk to the soliders inside. When he came down, four or five people came out from the sidewalk and pulled him away. He disappeared forever.

I called my office and told them I had a great shot. A colleague rode over on a bike and picked up the film. I stayed behind in the hotel for the following two days.

For some reason, the editor in the office did not pick the frame of the man blocking the tanks. Instead, they picked the frame of the man climbing up the tank. The next day, A.P.’s version was widely played. They called me up at the hotel and I told them to have a close look again. So my photo of the man blocking the tank was released more than 12 hours later than my competitor’s.

I am glad that it still has impact after 20 years. Four different versions but one same focus.”

人生最怕不奋斗

小事情。一个同学的经历给了我一点启示。

他长得高大胖,不算聪明,跟我是大学同学。我印象最深的是,一次我们一起出去玩,他认识了一个ppmm,每天叽叽歪歪地在被子里yy这个女生,硬是没有胆量去追求。当时我心里还喊了一千遍孬种,并鄙视之。

后来他努力上了清华的研,后来他减肥成功,成功变成了一个大帅哥,于是自信,于是成功交到一个漂亮的女朋友。

人生最怕不努力。

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

免费早餐

今天早上去申请Social Security Number (社会安全号码),一大早就去了,等了一个多小时才轮到我,等交完表肚子已经饿得不行了。

在路上看见一个法国咖啡厅,进去买了一件brownie和一个面包,才发现10块钱以上才能刷卡,但是还想硬着头皮上,收银员硬是不让。我正挣扎之间,后面那个黑人大哥突然走上来说,她的钱我给了。我一愣,但是马上把自己的信用卡递给收银员,跟黑人大哥说,你把现金给我就好,我帮你给你的。

黑人大哥也一愣,随即掏出10美金给我,拿着咖啡头也不回地扬长而去。

留下我还没来得及说声谢谢。